HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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