i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't deserve a penis
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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