we're blogging at a bar
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
