The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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