no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
