Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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