ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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