dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
