U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
