So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
