Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
