I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
