yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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