I cockslap morals
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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