I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
