so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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