I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
