Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
