you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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