I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
