I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
