Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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