Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
