I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
