I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
porn star boner night. come get it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I will be naked everywhere
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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