why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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