he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
