Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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