as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
