I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
