You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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