At least make sure they are 18
Why
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
