from now on my penis is your penis
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
