I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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