cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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