So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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