They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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