I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
