Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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