think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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