Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
