youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
