There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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