you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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