Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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