I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
