I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
