Christians are straight up FREAKS
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
