As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
