Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
