You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
