i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
